To the best Father I know.

Besides my Heavenly Father.I have a Dad, and he’s pretty cool. He taught me so many things, like how to sing with all of my heart, love Jesus, and care for the Under dog.

There are many Dad’s in my life that I admire, but there is one that stands out among the rest. That’s my guy, Richard. He is Superman, Super Dad and I could go on, so I will. Richard is my hero. He is faithful and true and takes care of his kidlets like no one else. He plays games with them, teaches them life skills and is consistent in discipline. He teaches ME how to be a good parent just  by his example. He provides well, feeds them lots of junk food…I gotta tell you, he learned from one of the best. My Father-in-law is pretty amazing too. HAPPY FATHER’S DAY TO RICARD, MY DAD AND MY- DADDY -IN- LAW. I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

I love that man and I am so happy that I get to parent our four wonder kids with him. IMG_3793

on being transformed

Sometimes it’s painful and sometimes it doesn’t seem worth it. I spend a lot of time in bed some days. It’s then that I wonder. Is this what I was meant to do? To be? am I living out my purpose just laying here?  I guess the butterfly may wonder the same thing while being transformed into something beautiful. I only hope there is beauty at the end of this.

As far as an update on life, There is the fact that my kids are growing way too fast into little adults. They have been transformed in many ways through this last year. THAT is beautiful to see.

In other news I’m about 2/3’s done my book, which is super exciting to me.

Checking in with my peeps

What’s Up?

It’s so hard to to meat get to theof this blog. My daughter just informed me she’s becoming a vegan asap. I am facing the big “M and watching greys anatomy. What am I doing to myself?ts been a a rough one guys. I’ve been thinking more thn ever. Existential type thinking nd it’s driving me crazy.

I aam not a philosopher and all the big thinking hurts. The brain is a wild place, I tell ya!there are all sorts of big questions and thoughts that tromp wildly through the wild oats 

Wanting to be profound

but found nothing in th profound bucket today. Well, I did find a lack of space-time continuum. Darn matrix time. Still there’re. I cannot nWke up at all aT anY timE oF day without a majorshift . I mean we all get those moments where we feel out of it after sleeping but my brain is skipping hours, days and weeks at a time! It goes beyond weird straight to headache to nausea then back to panic. Praying that my brain rewires itself asap beause it really feels like more than strange and indescribable.it feels like a terrible repeating nightmare where the gsypmtoms are are all the same but the relief is periodic it creates a tension between terror of what pain do I face today. What day is it today. And how long am I living from minute to minute..?the reprerieve is the group of people I stay with and who comfort me

I

My greatest epitaph. 

I don’t even know what an epitaph is  so when uou figure it out let me know! Lol. 

I am here but not here if you get my drift.

i zm in bed at the U of A  but with no connection to wifi we’ll see what happens. Written a few weeks ago…

The other day when th Dr ordered me here after seeing suspicious results due eo a possible stroke life kind of ent into wait and see mode. I stayed a very long time in ER waiting for the stroke team to be consulted. Then the resident did his best to get my tests moving along and admittmeted me overnight so that it would all get done by Monday….at least that was the hop. This is to figure out whether we can continue onto radiation safely. They want to Make sure that my heart and lungs aren’t throwing clots into a narrowing they fond in one of my arteries. It could lead to a major stroke. All in all to say they are wanting to have a treatment plan to keep me as safe as possible. It just takes time. 
In the meantime r exhaustion is not my friend and I feel disoriented most of the time. 
When they transfer erred me onto this new floor there was a lady struggling with something that has been causing here to burst out into guttural eagle-like schreaching every 5 minutes for days. She has not been able to stop. This led meTo become even more exhausted and disoriented. 

Thankfully I was let out for a day and it seems to be helping. Please pray for the distressed lady down the hall. It must be hard to be her. 
Hoping for answers tomorrow and more rest. Thanks for all of your support. Unfortunately visits unless family are put on hold until I get more rest. They can be arranged by Richard. 7808473222. Thx. Love to you all!