i may have high expectations for mys of but I really want to do this thing well. I want to have a great attitude no matter what gets thrown my way. I want to shine Jesus throughout. I want to love well. I want a lot of stuff from me. I want to live a long time. I don’t want to panic with every change in the wind. I want to appreciate the little things.
The only problem is that I feel like I’m flunking already. I am only 2 days into chemo, one radiation done and I am folding like a wrinkled shirt that was hastily thrown in a corner. I feel gross, headachy and worried. Every risk that they told me about is racing through my brain. I question everything including my poor husband who is rocking the nursing business. I am driving him wild. My stomach burns with all the meds I take and I cry like a cranky 2 year old.
And all the while I wonder how I can muster enough strength to finish this thing well.
I have the greatest support team in the world and I don’t want to let them down. I have the most amazing God who breathes life into me every day and I want to live that life well.
My kids are rocking the whole sick momma thing and make me proud. They really are the wind in my sails
So there you have it. The truth from th wrinkled old shirt in the corner.
How do I do this well? I am looking around for the secret. I have people tell me to stay positive but the truth is its really hard when I want to puke every minute of the day.
Right now I turn on some comforting tunes, read articles on healthy living and focus on the truth. I read about how God fought impossible battles for his people. I realize he’s fighting this battle ahead of me. And I pray constantly.