There are nights that 

feel off. I have unusual symptoms that make me crazy. Do we go to the ER or wait? What is urgent? What isn’t? This is going to be the longest night ever.i have had symptoms of a blood clot for a while bu th Drs I’ve showed don’t get worried so then I don’t until it changes, which it did a bit today. All of my extra stuff creates a ripple effect…if Richard takes me in he loses sleep and so do the kids. Then church gets messed up. Then social expectations get changed. Then who knows what will spiral off of that?i feel a certain pressure at night because getting to medical attention is difficult and not getting to medical attention can be detrimental. Then what? The kids need someone here so it’s a long list of “is it worth it?”

I have a man that would adjust everything to get me what I need. Question is would the hospital have the knowledge that I need them to have to treat me? They may treat me with methods that could be detrimental because of their lack of experience. They have little neuro knowledge

So I sit here knowing that I will rest tonight in the knowledge that I leave my care in the hands 


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