Let em Looose

You know that Marcy can’t actually live without sharing a highly inaoppropriate self-deprecating story, so you may want to turn away now that you know a train wreck is coming. You’ve been duly warned. 

It seems that health facilities like to keep you slightly guessing as to what indignity is coming next. what with peeing in cups, breezy gowns and the ever awkward “FDo Ihug the Dr. While wearing THIS gown?” question. 

Really. I went into the biopsy in Jsnuary with pants on and came out without. I also felt like my abs and tirso had gone through a shredder so you have to wonder what goes on in those OR rooms. Did they make me do 1000 crunches beause they tyhought it would be fun?If Grey’s anatomy is any idication, which it is not, then these hospitals are parties just getting crazy. I had 3 neuro surgeons in the last day drop by who could pass for Dr. Mc Dreamy so, I’m just sayin, it’s not all fiction.

The gowns…may I? 

The gowns are indecent for such a modern and free girl like me. They make you go all naked at the waist but show no regard when the “girls” get loose. Two days I’ve been fighting the girls in their efforts to get free. TWO long days. Every now and again they pop out to say a middle aged hello to whoever is unfortunate to take a walk in. If I could the girls would be contained. Trust me.

Then there are celebrations about who has pooped, peed and passed gas. The other patients in my room just don’t want to know. The freedom of information act is not applied in semi private rooms. Just so ya know. Nor in ER’s. You should know this.

My best advice? Take someone that loves you and your modesty with you to the hospital, should you need to go. And breath mints. /cut the nurses some slack. 

Always hug that Dr. Because he may have had a rough day. In fact, if that makes you uneasy, just take Richard, He likes hugging drs.


One response to “Let em Looose

  1. This is awesome on 15 levels!!!

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