John 1:12

But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,

Galatians 4:4-6

But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive adoption to sonship. Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.”

I have a few friends who have been adopted or married a child who found parents through adoption. Some of those children faced the premature death of their parents and left them longing for what they didn’t have. In my mind, I saw it as such a tragedy. More tragic, somehow, than a child who was born into a family losing a parent. Sounds strange.  That a child would have to grieve twice. That they might think “Why did God bring me to this family only to find myself mother/fatherless?” Again.

I have thought those thoughts. How sad…

Now we are living in a situation where other people may think the very same thoughts.

How sad that those children went to a family that would go through such trouble.

I hope to live a good many years yet, but the reality is that my lifespan may be a lot shorter than I had hoped.

Now my children may have to grieve twice. Once when they were itty bitties and their first moms were suddenly gone. The warm and safe place where they had grown and had heard her voice was suddenly a loud and strange place without the voice that they had gotten used to. Babies grieve. I’ve seen it. Oh, they are resilient and amazing and our babies bonded to us as their parents fairly quickly. From our perspective they were “ours” right away. But they did grieve.

And then again as older children. At the very least, this is not the fairy tale story that one hopes when you are waiting forever (it seems) to bring your children home.

And yet. And YET…there is another part of the story.

We waited and prayed for our children. We agonized over the desire to hold our babies and love our children. WE had dreams and plans. We wanted a family fiercely. God answered our fervent prayers.

After so many years, we finally held our eldest and KNEW he was made for US. We were waiting all that time for him. It was an insanely beautiful moment. Then again when each of our other kids came home, I knew we were made for each other, as crazy as it all got sometimes. God had put us together as a family.

I am tempted to think, why did God put us together as a family if he knew they would have to go through so much? If he knew they would lose their momma prematurely? He could have put them somewhere else where grief would not be so profoundly difficult.

But he let us be their parents. He let them have us. And we are a family in every way except the common genes that don’t run through our veins. God is at work at a bigger picture for them too. He knew. He KNEW they would be going through this. Whoa. And he let me be their mom anyways. That is big stuff. I have been so very blessed to be their mom. The one who got to rock them to sleep and see them laying on my chest with light and beautiful breaths. I got to clean up a lot of poo and puke. Maybe not glamorous but a part of parenthood. I got to see them off to school for the first time and cry about how they have grown up so much. I’ve gotten to see milestones and growth. God let me be their mom. Wow.

We don’t know why God lets things happen the way they do or if he makes things happen sometimes. We wouldn’t be able to handle seeing the big picture. I know deep, deep down that he is purely GOOD.

Things happen.

Then he creates beauty out of ashes. He makes good come out of everything for those who love him.

I trust Him to continue to take care of their hearts even when I can’t mend the broken hearts that will come because of life. Life can break our hearts. I pray there will be people surrounding them who love them almost as much as we, their parents, do. Friends and family that will hold them, listen to them and carry them when they need to be carried.

I didn’t want them to have to go through all of this. But here we are, going through it together, as a family.


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