When my husband and I talked marriage, before the day of our sweet nuptials, we discussed what our roles would look like in our family. We both wanted me to be a stay-at-home mom, with roughly four children. No Problem. We agreed. I’d be the little wifey who cooks, cleans, does things around the community with the kids and volunteer at the church as whatever I felt my giftings were. I was the odd ball traditional wife, who expected that her husband would work hard, bring in the money needed to take care of his family and then be willing to help at home according to what he could do. In this day and age, this makes us extremely oddball in some circles. With women being a large part of the workforce in our society, it seems odd to be someone who’s life goal is to be a mom and not bring in an income or have a career.
The BIG problem with this was that being a one income family when you are in the ministry, well, it can be tight at times. More like all the time, but who’s keeping track? There have been many moments that we’ve wondered if we would have enough for this and that, but God has always, ALWAYS provided what we’ve needed and sometimes more than we had ever hoped for.
Before we dove into dating, we discussed what we would like to do in the future. Both of us said “be in ministry of some sort”. With being a pastor’s family we knew that we would never have a lot of things. We expected it. We wanted it. We both wanted to be open to where we felt God leading us no matter where it was or what it meant.
We live in a society where people either can afford all the extras or they put it on a credit card. Either way, our family looks poor in comparison. My kids wonder if we can have a boat or a camper or go on a Disneyland vacation…It’s hard to discuss our financial state, and then again, it’s not. We are living like we are because we made a decision not to value our lives by the things we have but by the way we love God.