Something to reduce my anxiety….a schedule! April 2013 Not much has changed…

I am learning more about myself, and how God made me, these days than I have ever learned before. How can it be at 40+ that I haven’t learned that my brain doesn’t organize tasks well and that is why I spend most of my days in anxiety? Therefore it makes sense that if I had a place for everything and a schedule to tell me where to be and when to be there with what and whom…my brain could take a break.

I can’t organize my house with five other beings bent on destroying any system I set in place. Obviously, my systems need work too or my teaching methods. But every day I want to just scream that I need help to keep this place organized!  It’s a small space and CRAZY happens quickly if somoene doesn’t hang up their jacket and rain pants, or if someone leaves their dirty gloves on the livingroom floor. Life gets interesting when lunch boxes are helter skelter about my counter and don’t get packed before they are rushing out for school. My life, obviously could use some basic organizational skills. Skills I had, but now, with fatigue fogging my brain the tasks seems insurmountable. With Fibro and CFS making it more difficult lately, I feel I’m always running behind or not up to the task.

I would love to make charts to help my kids with their tasks. Ones they can mark off and everyone knows they did their job. I need them all participating willingly (without yelling would be nice) and working like a smooth machine. I know I’m dreaming, but I could use some helpful visual aides for them…

I could really use some something to keep me organized. Something where I don’t have to worry about forgetting the details. Man, I’m bad at details. They kill me.

Getting a system that works for my family AND getting our household stuff organized almost needs a professional at this point. I don’t like making the plans, the structure, but I would love to try and follow something that fits our family.

I really believe that if I were to make up a detailed schedule of the many areas that I need organizing, my anxiety would decrease significantly. I am too busy trying to keep all the balls in the air. Then I worry about the balls I will forget about… completely.

I know it takes time and energy. Last week I was organizing my house and getting rid of stuff and it felt great. One baby step at a time. But I have a whole house. I pray God gives strength because even if it is a little house, it’s a big task. I want to get it organized so that I don’t have that “monkey on my back.” From there, I hope that a regular way of doing things becomes more productive and less combative as a family. I don’t need more that will push my fatigue buttons but something that works.

But. It is the task of organizing (dealing with spring cleaning, cleaning out stuff we don’t need, making visual charts for kids who can’t follow 2 step commands, Charts for kids…) It sounds big.

I know it’s do-able, I just know if I’m up for the task. I’m sure that when I have a “good” day physically, it will come much easier. In the meantime, my husband remarked today “It looks like a bomb went off.” And I”m pretty sure I cleaned yesterday…sigh

This too shall pass right?


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