It’s getting more real the more closer we get to the day they make another hole in my head. It’s the only other hole, apart from ear piercing, that I’ve purposefully sought. Apparently the phrase “I need that like I need a whole new hole in my head” will have new meaning for me. But this time, I do need that hole in my head.
I have felt a tremendous amount of peace until now, knowing that God goes before me to give the dr’s wisdom and accuracy and the knowledge to know what to do if the unexpected happens. I am at peace. It’s the kind that passes my understanding. Because shouldn’t I be riddled in anxiety. What happens if this? Or what happens if that? Well, if any of this or that happens, will my worrying amount to anything except extra anxiety and stress. No it leads to death. It really does. So I choose peace. I choose to trust the One who made me to be in that OR that day and to be there with me. I trust him. No matter what happens.
I know that an army of praying friends, family and people I don’t even know are standing with me on that day. I know that God will hear them. He will be with them and he will be with me. I’ll be unconcious but all those other factors? Awake and taking care of business.
Sure I’m nervous about new situations and the fact that they are drilling in my head. I wonder what that will feel like after. To have a hole in my head. I wonder if it’s life back to “normal” or if it will make me lopsided for some reason. Silly wonderings.
Most of all, I am looking forward to it. I am looking forward to finally seeing something be done about this alien in my brain. It doesn’t belong here and how long am I going to have to put up with it. It’s cramping my style. I am ready. I feel like a warrior about to do battle with an alien.
I’m thankful for all of the people that I have “watching my back”. I have a pretty amazing team of prayer partners, of friends who take practical things and do them for us. I have kids who are hoping for the very best outcome and a mom and dad, that though they are not young, have come out and left their comfort zone to give us some comfort and practical help.
God has given us good things. There will continue to be amazing things happen here, of this much I am SURE!