I didn’t realize how great I was feeling until I lost it.
After our trip to Jamaica, I felt pretty good. I was thrilled that my pain seemed to be diminished drastically. The heat, the sun, the slow pace of doing nothing…it was good for me.
Then we went from nothing to screamingly busy when we touched down. We arrived to the airport late, got to our hotel at 2am and then we were on the road to home after a little storm on the ground. No problem. We were happy to see our little brood and my mom declared “I am officially off duty!”
Almost as soon as we arrived home two families in our church lost loved ones.Being “The Reverend”, my dear man was gone for pretty much the next week. My parents left for their home in a brief window of good weather. They fired up the engine and took off faster than a speeding Mennonite. Not sure what their hurry was…maybe it was the mammoth storm that was brewing, that they knew nothing about. The same week, I had a major situation at school to deal with which resulted in the withdrawal of our son from school and an unexpected entry into fulltime homeschooling with him. It was not completely unexpected, but I didn’t expect it THAT week. I thought maybe in the Autumn.
Speaking of the Mammoth Storm that blew in…it blew us in for a few days and I was wondering if my gal had an appendix waiting to burst. It was not worrying me all that much because I was keeping a close eye on it, but with seeing the pictures of the local highways, I was praying it wouldn’t become an emergency that required any driving in those conditions. It turns out that it was probably a bladder infection but the girl does not feel pain as normal people feel it (as in her pain tolerance is impressive) so when she called home from school three times in the same week, I knew she was in pain. When she stayed in bed for hours at a time, I knew something was amiss.
From “No worries” in Jamaica, to the week of horrors (well, that’s a tad dramatic) it really was a crazy start to our lives after all that 6 days of relaxation. Trust me. When I was laying on that beach I knew why I was there. I’d never experienced the total lack of anything to do (at least for a couple of decades) or anywhere to be or expectations of people who wanted something…so having that little vacation was a much-needed piece of time. I could have sat on that beach chair and had drinks served to me for at least a few more
months days. I loved not cooking. I adored not having to shop and check every little ingredient. Every day I got up and had coffee before anyone spoke to me. It was delightful!
And I wonder if that all contributed to me being in less pain.
Suddenly, the last three or so days, I am feeling every joint in my body. I am feeling muscles tense up that had been as loose as tar on hot pavement. My neck is making crunchy noises, in the silence of the night, that it hadn’t made on the white, sandy beach.
Pain is an ugly beast.
It reminds me that eventually I will feel no more pain. That one day I will be in Glory with my Jesus radiating more warmth than the sun ever could. One day I will have eternity to bask in the beauty of healing. I am looking forward to that.
On this side of heaven, though, I am thankful that even if my joints and muscles seize, I still can use them. Even if my knobby toes hurt to walk, I can walk. All of it I can do to fulfill my purpose while treading this earthly path. I pray that I do. I pray that despite the chains that seem to want to pull my down and hold me fast, that Jesus gives me the grace every day to hang on to Him. To get up and walk despite the weight of this world. I pray that I won’t be fixated on what “could be” and where it would be “better” but that He would make my path straight and purposeful where I am now.
I am so thankful we got that little break. Oh, it was a teeny tiny break in our frenetic life, but it was a taste of heaven. Heaven will be so much better. I get to be in the presence of our Creator there. May he use me for what he created me for here, until then.