I’ve lived with fear a long time, perhaps my whole life long. Fear is with me constantly, and I’ve made it a companion of sorts. I’ve patted the metaphorical seat beside me so that it could have a comfy spot in this ride of life.
I became so comfortable with fear that I almost forgot it was there. I justified the knot in my stomach as indigestion and the headaches I attributed to my old whiplash injury. My constant fatigue simply became a security blanket that I carried with me as I went through life. While these physical challenges could explain why my life was unravelling – out of control, I didn’t want to acknowledge that fear and anxiety was making these physical issues even more debilitating. It was silently squeezing the life out of me while I held on tightly like it was my best friend. I had no idea it was trying to kill me or at the very least make me useless.
Fear is not from God. I knew this! Why was I hanging on so tenaciously to this beast? Because it was comfortable. I didn’t have to take risks because “I didn’t feel good.” or in other words, I was scared. I had my life all in a box. “I have a limit so I can’t do this *fantastic and/or risky thing*.” I have only so much energy so I have to limit my purpose in life. I was letting fear control my outcome. Fear was keeping me from seeing that God’s plan was not one to fear but to embrace.
I was made for more than lying in bed crying. I was made for Him to fill me and live out my dangerous and risky purpose. Anything outside of my comfortable box of life, as I knew, it seemed scary and dangerous.
I told Fear to go back to the pit from where it came, because that’s where it came from. The Pit. Fear is now recognized and no longer welcome here. Oh, it tries to sneak its way in and sometimes I let it stay a while, but then, with God’s amazing grace I see it. I again kick its sorry behind out of my life and then recognize that God’s gift to me is peace, confidence and assurance. I take them and place them in the area that fear tries to assert itself. I release the box that I’ve held my life in and give it over to the One who is so strong. This life is dangerous and scary sometimes. In fact, if we are following Jesus’ example then we are taking steps toward things that make us uncomfortable.
Things that make me uncomfortable and that cause fear are things like getting to know my neighbors better. What if they don’t want to be “the Pastor’s wife’s friend”? Pshaw. Easy. Show them love anyways. What if I don’t want to share my testimony this week because I hate public speaking? Pshaw, God’s got it. He’s urging me to do it so he will meet me IN it.
I lead too much of my life and make too many decisions based on the beast FEAR.
Good-bye Fear. I’m giving you the spiritual boot to the backside. You can’t run me anymore.
Hello Peace and Confidence. God’s plan is that they may be present in my life and grow. They help me grow in his plans daily. Peace and Confidence (in the God who gives me strength) are hereby released into my life.I know that there are risks and challenges ahead, that I haven’t mentioned, and I look forward to them.
I could hide from the rest of my life, but WHY?